Hey Devil-Boy:

I have a quick question for you. Was Valentine's Day, and its subsidiary company Hallmark, invented by someone or something in the infernal pits of Hell? I mean, honestly, this can't be something man or divine made, can it?

-Mad and Packin' Heat in Parkland

Dear Mad and Packin',

No, Valentine's Day was not devised by us down here; it was cooked up by entrepreneurial mortals who wanted to cash in on the commercialization of romantic love. However, that doesn't keep us from celebrating it down here. We get a lot of work on Valentine's Day--remorseful suicides, vengeful crimes of passion, demonic bargains up the yin yang. And it's all based on this false notion that to be a complete person, a mortal must have a relationship based on romantic love (which is, let's admit, the most fleeting, hardest to maintain kind of love). Valentine's Day would be a lot less interesting for us if it's focus were on the supportive love that grows in long-term relationships based on mutual trust and appreciation. But there's no money in that, so you won't be seein' any new Hallmark cards any time soon.